Chuck Norris: The Ultimate List Part VII (The Last One)

· Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

· Chuck Norris doesn't need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets out of the way.

· It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.

· Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapons with two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called NunBarrys. No one ever did find out what happened to Barry.

· Upon hearing that his good friend, Lance Armstrong, lost his testicles to cancer, Chuck Norris donated one of his to Lance. With just one of Chuck's nuts, Lance was able to win the Tour De France seven times. By the way, Chuck still has two testicles; either he was able to produce a new one simply by flexing, or he had three to begin with. No one knows for sure.

· Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.

· Chuck Norris once finished "The Song that Never Ends".

· Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

· The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer

· Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris: The Ultimate List Part II

· To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

· There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

· The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

· Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

· It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.

· Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.