The following jokes are courtesy of my good friend Garret Kofoed. They are extremely racist, but also extremely funny. I received all these texts throughout the day today. It made me day very cheerful.
12:34pm Statue of Liberty is coming down today! Aunt Jemima is going up in her place, holding a chicken leg.
12:51pm I was at the grocery store and all they sell is chicken and watermelon. WTF? Must be a new law.
1:04pm What does JFK, Lincoln & MLK have in common with Obama? Nothing YET! lol
1:31pm Washington dc Pennsylvania Ave. residents worried about plummeting real estate values due to "different' neighbors.
2:03pm Obama walks up to Jesus in heaven and says, "I'm Barack Obama, the 1st black pres of the US." Jesus says, "When did that happen?" Obama replies, "About 20 min ago."
2:35pm How do you say Obama in Chinese? Coon-soon-dye.
2:49pm Things are looking up! Dick Cheney just invited Obama on a hunting trip!
3:01pm If Barack and an apple fell from a trip, who would land first? The apple silly. The rope would stop Barack.
3:07pm All white people must report to the cotton fields tomorrow morning at 7:00am for orientation.
3:29pm U know why it's cold outside today? Because people said it would be a cold day in hell before a black man became president! Bundle up biatches!
4:01pm I bet if the Founding Fathers would have known how this would have turned out, they would have picked their own damn cotton!
Thanks Kofoed!
Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Monday, March 3, 2008
Devin's Joke - Chee Chee
There were 3 explorers traveling through uncharted territory when they were captured by savage locals. The Chief of the tribe came forth to examine the new detainees. The Chief looked at the first and asked him, "Death or Chee Chee?"
The first explorer had no idea what Chee Chee was, but he knew he didn't want to die. With sweat dripping down his forehead, he replied, "Chee Chee?"
The Chief smiled, and all the other savages grabbed him and threw him to the ground. They began to kick him and beat him rocks. They jumped on him, cut him with spears and bit his extremities. The first explorer was nearly dead when they got through with him.
The Chief then turned to the next explorer, and asked, "Death or Chee Chee?"
The second explorer now knew what Chee Chee was, but he did not want to die. There was also the chance that Chee Chee was different from person to person. With this hope, the second explorer said, "Chee Chee?"
The Chief smiled again, and all the other savages grabbed him and began to beat him until he was nearly dead, just as the first explorer. Right when the second explorer was at the point of death, the savages quit.
The Chief finally looked at the last explorer, and asked, "Death or Chee Chee?"
The last explorer was the bravest of the three explorers, and he looked the Chief square in the eyes, and replied, "Death."
The Chied looked at him gravely and said, "Very well." Then cracking a smile, he said, "But first, Chee Chee!"
The first explorer had no idea what Chee Chee was, but he knew he didn't want to die. With sweat dripping down his forehead, he replied, "Chee Chee?"
The Chief smiled, and all the other savages grabbed him and threw him to the ground. They began to kick him and beat him rocks. They jumped on him, cut him with spears and bit his extremities. The first explorer was nearly dead when they got through with him.
The Chief then turned to the next explorer, and asked, "Death or Chee Chee?"
The second explorer now knew what Chee Chee was, but he did not want to die. There was also the chance that Chee Chee was different from person to person. With this hope, the second explorer said, "Chee Chee?"
The Chief smiled again, and all the other savages grabbed him and began to beat him until he was nearly dead, just as the first explorer. Right when the second explorer was at the point of death, the savages quit.
The Chief finally looked at the last explorer, and asked, "Death or Chee Chee?"
The last explorer was the bravest of the three explorers, and he looked the Chief square in the eyes, and replied, "Death."
The Chied looked at him gravely and said, "Very well." Then cracking a smile, he said, "But first, Chee Chee!"
Monday, February 4, 2008
Chuck Norris: The Ultimate List Part I
· Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
· Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
· Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean .
· Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
· Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
· Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
· Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
· Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
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